When Childhood Connections Turn into Something More

Why We Wait to Date
(and why that might just give young love a better chance)

✨ Let Me Tell You a Secret…

Sometimes a parent just knows.

You catch your child laughing with someone at church, working side-by-side during a service project, or sharing a glance of real understanding—and something in your heart whispers:
“That one could be a match.”

Not in a fairytale way.
Not because you’re in a rush.
But because you sense something real.

And here’s the surprising thing:
Sometimes those kids do grow up and get married.

🌿 Childhood Is for Growing, Not Pairing Off

In our family, we believe that dating is largely inappropriate until a person is reasonably ready to consider dating for marriage.

That means they’re emotionally grounded, spiritually mature, and living in a season where marriage could realistically be on the horizon.

We don’t treat dating as a hobby, a milestone, or something to “get out of the way early.”
We treat it as a form of discernment, and a serious one.

🤍 A Fine Line: The Temptation to Encourage Young Dating

Let’s be honest—it’s a fine line.

When you see your child and someone else naturally gravitating toward each other in friendship, with maturity and kindness, it’s tempting to say, “Let’s see where this goes.” Many well-meaning parents give their quiet blessing to “young love,” hoping it will deepen over time.

But we’ve seen a different wisdom:

If your ultimate hope is that these two end up together,
the best thing you might do is let them grow up first—side by side, but not entangled.

Let them build trust.
Let them grow in fellowship.
Let them mature in faith, responsibility, and identity.
And then, when they’re actually ready to consider marriage, let that spark become something more.

Because rushed romance can fizzle.
But God-timed love? That can last a lifetime.

🕊️ Love Doesn’t Need to Be Rushed

We believe God writes the best stories. And if a certain childhood friendship is meant to bloom into something more—it will, in His timing.

Our job as parents isn’t to orchestrate love stories. It’s to:

Build character
Model respect
Create healthy boundaries
Hold space for holy possibility

It’s a beautiful thing to hold a quiet hope in your heart.
But it’s even more beautiful to hold that hope with wisdom, not worry.

✨ This Doesn’t Make Us Stuffy, Uptight, or Naive

Choosing to wait doesn’t mean we’re boring, overly sheltered, or walking around with blinders on. We’re not afraid of the world—we’re just building something stronger than the culture gives credit for.

This doesn’t make us stuffy.
It doesn’t make us uptight.
It doesn’t make us “no fun.”
And it definitely doesn’t make us naive.

It makes us intentional.

It means we believe our kids deserve clarity, not confusion.
It means we believe emotional intimacy should be protected, not passed around.
It means we believe real joy comes from doing things on purpose—with eyes wide open and hearts rooted in truth.

🌿 A Better Way: Friendship First

Want to give your child’s possible future spouse the best chance?

Don’t pair them off in 5th grade.
Don’t joke about being boyfriend and girlfriend.
Don’t create tension or pressure.

Instead, encourage:

✅ Fellowship
✅ Group settings
✅ Teamwork
✅ Clear boundaries
✅ Trust-building
✅ Personal growth

If the connection is real—it won’t need constant stoking.
It’ll wait.
It’ll mature.
And when it’s time, it will bloom.

📖 Coming Soon: How Kids Can Respond to Early Relationship Pressure

Stay tuned for more posts in this series—next up:
“How your child can respond if they are approached to be someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend at a young age.”

We’ll walk through simple, respectful responses your child can use to stand firm in their values without hurting feelings, all while keeping their heart and friendships in a healthy place.

🕰️ Be sure to subscribe or follow along on Instagram so you don’t miss it!

💬 Share Your Story

Have you ever quietly hoped your child would end up with someone they were close to during childhood? How did it turn out? What have you learned?

👇 Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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Ashley