Video Games: Why Our Family Chose to Opt Out

Hey there, fellow parents!

I know this topic may be controversial, but I want to share our family’s decision to avoid video games in our home. As an imperfect parent, I’m not here to judge other families who choose to play video games, but I want to share our reasoning and journey.

It’s not just research that has led us to this decision. Our real-life experience with environments where people are playing video games has also played a significant role. We’ve witnessed firsthand how video games can consume people’s lives, leading to social isolation, decreased productivity, and a lack of engagement with the world around them.

At the same time, I know that our experiences don’t describe every person who plays video games. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that most children and teens who play video games do not develop addiction or other problems. Our choice is ultimately about the kind of childhood and household culture we want to create, and the activities we would rather prioritize in the limited hours of each day.

Why We Choose Not to Have Video Games at Home

After researching the potential impact of video games on mental and physical health, social skills, and relationships, I have concerns about:

Problematic or excessive gaming that begins to interfere with sleep, exercise, schoolwork, relationships, or other important activities
Exposure to violent or age-inappropriate content
Gaming replacing in-person social interaction or family time
Long periods of sedentary screen time and physical discomfort
Inappropriate content and negative role models
Gaming displacing academic work, hobbies, or other productive activities
The potential for excessive spending on in-game purchases
Exposure to cyberbullying, harassment, advertising, and online interactions
Screen use close to bedtime interfering with healthy sleep routines
For a small proportion of players, difficulty controlling gaming behavior

The World Health Organization recognizes gaming disorder, but it also emphasizes that it affects only a small proportion of people who play video games. The concern is not simply enjoying a game; it is a pattern in which gaming increasingly takes priority over other activities and continues despite significant negative consequences.

But beyond these concerns, we also believe that video games are unproductive and lack enrichment. We want our children to engage in activities that promote learning, creativity, and personal growth. Video games, in our opinion, do not align with these values.

That last point is very much a family value judgment rather than a universal statement about gaming. Digital games can sometimes involve creativity, problem-solving, teamwork, or social connection. For our family, though, we simply prefer to direct that time toward experiences in the physical world. The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly encourages families to look at what screens are replacing rather than focusing only on minutes of screen time.

We’d Rather Our Children Spend Their Time:

Reading books that spark their imagination
Engaging in creative activities like art, music, or writing
Playing outdoor games and pursuing physical activities that promote movement, discipline, and interaction with others
Learning new skills or hobbies that challenge their minds
Volunteering or participating in community service
Pursuing their aspirations, passions, and goals, whether it’s starting a business, exploring scientific interests, or practicing music
Considering the goals and needs of their family and friends, and using their time and talents to help others
Taking initiative to improve their own spaces, such as organizing their room or creating a peaceful environment

This connects closely with why we’ve chosen a contribution-focused childhood. We want Claire and Peter to see themselves as participants in real life—not simply consumers of entertainment—but as people who can create, help, learn, contribute, solve problems, and develop meaningful interests.

As parents, we believe it’s our responsibility to help set our children’s future choices and households up for success. In any scenario we envision for our children’s lives, video games are not part of it. We want our children to find joy in activities that enrich their minds, bodies, and souls.

We also want those activities to strengthen the kind of family togetherness we’re trying to build over time.

What About Video Games Outside Our Home?

Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “But what about when they go to their friends’ houses or play at clubs?” And yes, we’re okay with that.

We understand that our children will be exposed to video games at some point, and we’re not naive to think we can shield them completely. However, our ultimate goal is to raise children who are mindful of their screen time and choose to prioritize meaningful activities that promote their overall well-being.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends creating a family media plan that considers what screens may be displacing—including sleep, reading, outdoor play, exercise, hobbies, and family time. That idea aligns closely with how we think about screens in our own home.

When our children, Claire and Peter, grow up and have their own families, they can make their own choices about video games. If they want to play video games as adults or let their children play them, that is their choice. But it will not be due to our support, encouragement, or enabling.

We’re raising them to be independent thinkers who make their own decisions while equipping them with the skills to keep video games out of their lives if that is what they desire, and we trust that they’ll make choices that align with their values and goals.

I understand that half of the people who read this will find it very harsh, but the other half will agree. And that’s okay. This topic is polarizing, and we’re not here to judge. We’re just sharing our journey and our reasons for opting out of video games in our household.

Let’s support each other in our parenting journeys, even when disagreeing. Share your thoughts, and let’s have a respectful conversation!

Looking for More Screen-Free Ideas?

Our goal isn’t simply to remove screens. It’s to fill childhood with things worth doing instead—reading, creating, moving, helping, learning, exploring, and spending real time together.

Try Our Screen-Free Reading Challenge

Explore a Contribution-Focused Childhood

Frequently Asked Questions About Kids and Video Games

Are all video games harmful to children?

No. Most children and teenagers who play video games do not develop gaming addiction or serious problems. Games can also offer entertainment, social connection, creativity, teamwork, and problem-solving. Our family simply prefers to spend that time on other activities.

What is gaming disorder?

The World Health Organization defines gaming disorder as a pattern of gaming in which a person has impaired control over gaming, gives gaming increasing priority over other activities, and continues despite negative consequences. The behavior must be severe enough to cause significant impairment in important areas of life.

How can parents tell when gaming is becoming unhealthy?

Parents may want to pay closer attention when gaming repeatedly replaces sleep, physical activity, school responsibilities, family time, friendships, or activities a child previously enjoyed. Difficulty reducing gaming despite negative consequences can also be a warning sign.

Do children need video games for socialization?

No single activity is required for healthy social development. Some children socialize through gaming, while others build relationships through sports, homeschool groups, clubs, martial arts, church, neighborhood play, creative activities, volunteering, or shared hobbies. Families can choose the environments that fit their values and children best.

What can children do instead of playing video games?

Reading, outdoor play, art, music, building projects, cooking, caring for animals, sports, martial arts, nature study, volunteering, family games, gardening, practical skills, and creative hobbies can all provide meaningful alternatives. The best options are usually the ones that genuinely interest the child.

Can families choose to have no video games at home?

Yes. Families can create media rules that reflect their own values and priorities. HealthyChildren specifically notes that parents can establish their own household standards for video games, including deciding that certain games or types of gaming do not fit their family values.