We Love Having a No ‘Bedtime’ Lifestyle for Our Kids

7:30 rolls around for a lot of families and it’s easy to wrap up the evening and say, “Hey! Bedtime!” It’s a relief to families all over the world. I get it. For our family, though, bedtime works a little differently.

What our life looks like

For us, when 7:30 rolls around, we might be eating at a restaurant together, sightseeing on vacation, taking a bath before a family movie and enjoying our time together as a family. It is less convenient for us to stop what we are doing at a certain time every evening, to wrap things up and do bedtime.

That flexibility fits naturally with the kind of family togetherness we value. Some evenings are quiet at home, while others stretch a little longer because we’re traveling, eating out, watching a movie, or simply enjoying being together.

Let’s elaborate

But why? Don’t you want time with your husband? Don’t you need some kiddo free time? I’m sure those questions are popping into your heads as you read this and realize our kids don’t have a bedtime.

And the answer is, yes – of course, we want and need those things. However, we are a very blessed couple who work together a majority of our time. We spend a lot of our day together.

We are blessed to have occasional nanny help, as well as help from their wonderful grandma, so when our work takes us away from the house, or we need to step out, we can.

All of this means, when we are spending our evening time together as a family, it might be the first time we are getting to enjoy each other.

also

Our life is organized and scheduled, but in a way that is not fit for a bedtime routine. It isn’t set up to stop what we are doing every single night and expect our little ones to follow suit. They are growing up to go with the flow much like we do.

Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Not having a set bedtime, does not mean that Claire and Peter stay up until midnight every single night.

Bedtime for them just looks more on their schedule and has helped them learn self-regulation on their sleep cycles, and that it’s okay to say, “Hey, I’m feeling tired.” This is much nicer than fighting sleep at our 7:30 bedtime every night.

pros

Like everything, there are pros and cons to not having a set bedtime every night.

Pros might include spending more precious time as a family and with our kiddos as they’re growing up. Time is so limited, and this helps us feel a little less like we are racing against a clock. We are on similar sleeping schedules, so they aren’t waking us up frequently.

That desire to make the most of our years together is also part of the family culture we’re intentionally building: taking responsibilities seriously while also leaving room for joy, connection, and memorable moments.

Let’s be honest, most of us enjoy not being woken up in the early morning hours, in fact morning hour coffee chats might be some of my favorite time for connection to talk or plan the day ahead.

We also see big benefits in their sleeping habits. They are able to seek out a restful place anywhere we go, without anxiety attached to their sleep. I have heard from other moms that sometimes their littles can only sleep in one place: that child’s bed. We are very thankful Claire and Peter don’t struggle with that, as traveling and being free otherwise, is so important to our family.

Interestingly, HealthyChildren also recommends building sleep routines that can travel with a family, so children have familiar cues that can help them settle even when they’re away from home. For us, that flexibility has become useful during vacations and family adventures.

Claire and Peter also don’t have anxiety about missing out on anything by going to sleep at an earlier bedtime than others.

We’re not having to get on them constantly surrounding bedtime, or use phrases like, “Why aren’t you in bed,” “Go to bed,” or “You should be in bed.”

We do still value calming evening rhythms. Something as simple as our wash-your-feet-before-bed family challenge can become a gentle cue that the day is winding down without requiring every night to look exactly the same.

and cons

As you may have guessed, a con does include not getting a lot of alone time like some other parents may have.

We make up for it in other ways, though, like having quiet coffee together in the morning when the kiddos are still asleep, being intentional when we spend time at work, and using our time together wisely!

Not everyone has the opportunity to have a lot of alone time with their partner, but we feel this is a short season and a small sacrifice to be made.

The best decision

Overall, in our family dynamic, we have seen that not having a set bedtime helps us be more flexible and spend more time together.

Claire and Peter are so much more flexible about bedtime and, like many adults, can just go to bed whenever they feel tired.

For another family, a firm bedtime may work beautifully—and current pediatric guidance generally favors predictable routines, particularly on school nights. What matters most to us is not proving that one approach is universally better, but making sure our children are rested, healthy, and able to function well within the rhythm of our particular family.

Every family has to make a decision that is best for their family and has the best benefits and results. If our family dynamic was different, a bedtime might be best for us.

It’s wonderful that we can all parent in ways that we see the best outcomes for our kiddos.

to claire and peter

Kiddos, momma loves you always, even if I might not be able to guarantee the same time for dinner, bath, and bed. Thank you for not waking me up at 6:00 am.

Mom

Frequently Asked Questions About Flexible Bedtimes

Do children need a specific bedtime every night?

Pediatric guidance generally favors consistent sleep and wake routines, particularly for younger children and on school nights. That doesn’t mean every family has to follow the same clock time, but children do benefit from predictable sleep habits and enough total rest.

How much sleep do children need?

The CDC recommends about 10–13 hours of sleep per 24 hours for children ages 3–5, including naps, and 9–12 hours for children ages 6–12. Teenagers ages 13–17 generally need 8–10 hours.

Can a bedtime routine still be flexible?

Yes. A family can use familiar wind-down cues—such as bathing, brushing teeth, reading, talking quietly, dimming the lights, or another calming ritual—even when bedtime occasionally shifts because of travel, dinner plans, or family activities.

How can children sleep well while traveling?

Familiar routines can help. Bringing a favorite book, maintaining a calming sequence before sleep, keeping the room comfortable, and preserving enough overall sleep time can give children recognizable cues even when they’re sleeping somewhere new.

Does a flexible bedtime work for every family?

No. Some children and families thrive with a very predictable bedtime, while others have schedules that allow more flexibility. Work schedules, school, temperament, age, travel, wake times, and individual sleep needs can all affect what works best.

What matters more: bedtime or total sleep?

Both timing and total sleep can matter. Getting enough sleep is essential, and regular daily rhythms can make healthy sleep easier. If a child’s sleep schedule leads to persistent difficulty waking, daytime sleepiness, behavior changes, or other concerns, it’s worth discussing the pattern with a pediatrician.

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