We Love Having a No ‘Bedtime’ Lifestyle for Our Kids

7:30 rolls around for a lot of families and it’s easy to wrap up the evening and say, “Hey! Bedtime!” It’s a relief to families all over the world. I get it. For our family, though, bedtime works a little differently.

What our life looks like

For us, when 7:30 rolls around, we might be eating at a restaurant together, sightseeing on vacation, taking a bath before a family movie and enjoying our time together as a family. It is less convenient for us to stop what we are doing at a certain time every evening, to wrap things up and do bedtime.

Let’s elaborate

But why? Don’t you want time with your husband? Don’t you need some kiddo free time? I’m sure those questions are popping into your heads as you read this and realize our kids don’t have a bedtime.

And the answer is, yes - of course, we want and need those things. However, we are a very blessed couple who work together a majority of our time. We spend a lot of our day together.

We are blessed to have occasional nanny help, as well as help from their wonderful grandma, so when our work takes us away from the house, or we need to step out, we can.

All of this means, when we are spending our evening time together as a family, it might be the first time we are getting to enjoy each other.

also

Our life is organized and scheduled, but in a way that is not fit for a bedtime routine. It isn’t set up to stop what we are doing every single night and expect our little ones to follow suit. They are growing up to go with the flow much like we do.

Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Not having a set bedtime, does not mean that Claire and Peter stay up until midnight every single night.

Bedtime for them just looks more on their schedule and has helped them learn self-regulation on their sleep cycles, and that it’s okay to say, “Hey, I’m feeling tired.” This is much nicer than fighting sleep at our 7:30 bedtime every night.

pros

Like everything, there are pros and cons to not having a set bedtime every night.

Pros might include spending more precious time as a family and with our kiddos as they’re growing up. Time is so limited, and this helps us feel a little less like we are racing against a clock. We are on similar sleeping schedules, so they aren’t waking us up frequently.

Let’s be honest, most of us enjoy not being woken up in the early morning hours, in fact morning hour coffee chats might be some of my favorite time for connection to talk or plan the day ahead.

We also see big benefits in their sleeping habits. They are able to seek out a restful place anywhere we go, without anxiety attached to their sleep. I have heard from other moms that sometimes their littles can only sleep in one place: that child’s bed. We are very thankful Claire and Peter don’t struggle with that, as traveling and being free otherwise, is so important to our family.

Claire and Peter also don’t have anxiety about missing out on anything by going to sleep at an earlier bedtime than others.

We’re not having to get on them constantly surrounding bedtime, or use phrases like, “Why aren’t you in bed,” “Go to bed,” or “You should be in bed.”

and cons

As you may have guessed, a con does include not getting a lot of alone time like some other parents may have.

We make up for it in other ways, though, like having quiet coffee together in the morning when the kiddos are still asleep, being intentional when we spend time at work, and using our time together wisely!

Not everyone has the opportunity to have a lot of alone time with their partner, but we feel this is a short season and a small sacrifice to be made.

The best decision

Overall, in our family dynamic, we have seen that not having a set bedtime helps us be more flexible and spend more time together.

Claire and Peter are so much more flexible about bedtime and, like many adults, can just go to bed whenever they feel tired.

Every family has to make a decision that is best for their family and has the best benefits and results. If our family dynamic was different, a bedtime might be best for us.

It’s wonderful that we can all parent in ways that we see the best outcomes for our kiddos.

to claire and peter

Kiddos, momma loves you always, even if I might not be able to guarantee the same time for dinner, bath, and bed. Thank you for not waking me up at 6:00 am.

Mom